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Destructive Tests
 

WHAT I DID IN 2009.

2009 is the end of the line.

 

In November 08 I made the trek in the Firebird south
to the folk's place stopping along the way in Las Vegas.
My boy Steve was in the process of restoring his
Mustang. He got excited when I pulled out the camera,
since he didn't have any pictures. He spent all his
money on building the shop. I offered to trade the 
camera for the shop, but he reminded me that
I was unemployed and could not afford the taxes. 
Firebrd and Mustang posing
Having been reminded of the lack of cash inflow, I went to the casino. I pulled up to the valet
and throw him a twenty to leave the Bird right where it was. I threw the devils bones for
an hour and walked away with my shirt and pants still on. (Inflow NO!)
At my parent's place it's the same ole problem: I eat - sit on the couch - I eat - I sit on the 
couch. This year I never put on so much weight. I had to go by 34" waist pants.
I called it "bulking up".
My father kept reminding me that bulking up does not refer to belly fat. I kept reminded him 
that P90X would fix me in thirty days.
Have you seen those get ripped in thirty days commercials?
My Bro and I    My Bro and I
2008       2009
Keeping up with my original plan to drive the Firebird around the country doing stand up  
in March I drove to Florida. Every time I stopped for gas I told a joke. In Oklahoma
I was sitting in the car waiting to go into the restaurant for lunch and this fat pig woman
in a Chevy opens her door into the Bird. Yes, it chipped the paint. All I can say is that
people just need to die! If I could have one super power it would be the ability to
make people's heads implode. Yes, "Implode" because I don't want to spray anyone else
with your gray matter. Yes, I know, I'm considerate of other people. 
A lost character in people nowadays.
FL wildlife Firebird and palm trees Price of gas
You gotta love Florida wildlife and the price of gas.
After shooting another scene for my indie film with the 
illegitimate one, I went to redeem my cart racing skills.
It seems that they changed the lay out of the track. 
So the Slacker had never practiced on this new lay out.
"A fair fight". This time victory was mine. I lapped him 
once. They gave us a print out of the fastest lap time.
I creamed him by a second. I had proof! I rolled up the 
paper and put it in my back pocket. In the parking lot a
woman complimented the Firebird, and we started talking.
Hence, the distraction.
This is when I believe he snatched the paper from my 
pocket. I'm fine with it, because I know, he knows.
Me in a go-cart
With both missions accomplished I made a run to New York. I stopped in South Carolina 
to visit my old manager. I hadn't seen him since he gave me my lay off papers.
Now I know where all my pension money went. They say that managers took pay cuts 
with the rest of us, but when they bankrupted the pension they must have divided it 
among themselves. He says all the houses in South Carolina are big and opulent. 
DC
That stupid Garmin took me 
right through the center of DC. 
The traffic was unbelievable. 
The Bird started to run hot.
I was pissed and nervous 
and pissed. I assume that 
all these people work for the
government. We need to
reduce the ranks and that
should relieve the traffic.

Unbelievable!
Tunnel entrance Firebird stoped at White Castel 411, onion and me 
While in New York I had my first problem with the Firebird. The headlights stopped working. 
I was following Subpenny to his house when my phone rings. He says "you've been out in
the woods too long. Here in New York we turn on our headlights." With the brights on both
headlights worked. So I drove with brights on. There was some corrosion in the switch.
A simple fix. A flat tire in Texas, and the rest of the trip was uneventful. 
The Firebird ran like a champ! 
Back in Boise I've been applying for work to no avail. I produced a TV show from all the 
video taken in the last few years. I rebuilt the Cadillac suspension and put it on Ebay.
Nothing like trying to sell something during The Great Depression II. 
God bless crime and corruption. I Lost the weight, and I'm back to a 32" waist.
In an effort to reduce the stress I made a run to the hot
springs in the van. Relaxed and on my way back I
acquired a 65 in a 55 citation. To make a long story
short I had the judge standing over the bench yelling
"don't you understand English". T-bone and Ahab
were taking bets in the back when I was going to get 
locked up for contempt. The police don't even know the 
laws that they are enforcing, and the judge just
adds to the conspiracy to deprive me of my liberty
and property. The ticket was $75, but by the time
you add the cost of the process to convict me, I
figured it cost them $2500 to get that $75. 
Having a soak
Feeling like I needed some good karma, I went to Seattle to help a buddy move. Roebling agreed
to pick up the fuel tab if I brought the van. Well, no good deed goes unpunished. He was
so thankful a few weeks later I get a brand new CD player with HD radio in the mail.
I guess he had enough of the only B52 tape that I had.
I was pissed. I did it for the good karma. Now, if I accept the gift, it's like I got paid. 
Wiping out the good karma credit. 
Old speaker
$765 later. You can't put a CD 
player with HD radio in a 25
year old system without updating.
The 10" subs, when kicking, make
the amp gauge swing like a 
tach. Now I need 3 farad cap.
Inflow no!
 
When I put in a Lead Zeppelin CD it sounds tinny now. I must say, I now crave the bass.
It's so full-bodied. Ahab, my wanna be shrink, says "that's my subconscious telling me I 
want a fat girl."
To end the year on a down note T-bone and I went camping with guns. I came across a 
stream with gold flakes in it. So, I scooped up some and went to gold exchange and asked
if it was gold.
Chopping wood Camp Fire Sitting at camp fire
Yes, it was gold "gold mica" $4.25 a lb at your arts and craft store. It's the stuff you put
on Christmas ornaments. 

I sent the raffle tickets to the sweepstakes company and the winner did not claim the prize. 
Looks like I'll be packing out and moving soon.

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