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Destructive Tests
 

WHAT I DID IN 2007.

    
    A disappointment 2007 has been. After finishing the paint job on the parents house, I did nothing but watch TV. 
All My Children, my mothers favorite soap has been entertaining her for over thirty years. Sometimes you have to
shake your head in disbelief about the drama amidst these imaginary towns and people. Thank God it's only on for
an hour.
I'm all caught up on the History Channel,
Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, and Mail Call.
I would like to send a request to the Mythbusters,
but I know it won't happen. "If you were 
partaking in the carnal of lust, "doggy style".
To add a little spice to the mix. You shot the K9
in the gluteus maximus with a taser. Would you
get shocked if you were practicing safe sex and
wearing a condom? 
me on couch
I went to a comedy competition in Las Vegas in January. It was billed as the most comic friendly challenge, including
a round table discussion with six booking agents. I figured that I would give it a shot. Plus I hadn't seen my buddy
in a few years. Steve and I changed many a brake on the hash marks at LaGuardia airport in the late eighties.
He transferred to Vegas in the late nineties. The one thing about airlines: if you work in the industry long enough
you'll have friends in every state. 
red rock
Red Rocks Nation Park
The competition wasn't what I was expecting. What I learned from 
the whole event was that the booking agents had seventy five 
years of combined experience in the industry and knew it all.

My parents happened to be in Vegas that weekend pissing away 
my inheritance. I met up with them after the competition. 
My father had corrupted me in 1985 when he came to visit me in 
California. We rented a Lincoln Town car and drove to Reno. 
I won two hundred throwing the devils bones that weekend
and was hooked. 
We threw the dice for awhile and I crap out twice when my 
father had just placed a heavy bet. 
I think his comment was "between you and your mother 
you're going to take me to the poor house."
I redeemed myself on the next shoot. Holding the dice for 
about twenty minutes. I walked away with enough to cover
the whole trip and added to my inheritance.
After putting on twenty pounds and running out of money by February I headed back to Boise since the comedy
thing wasn't panning out. Back on the dole the unemployment checks were rolling in. 

I finished my first Tribble Run through Montana in March. First stop Missoula. I've never seen so many ugly women
in one place. This rib cleaner was sitting in the front row. She had a gap between her front teeth that was big 
enough to pull a rib bone through and strip off the meat. In Billings I didn't get any sleep. I could hear the guy in 
the next room snoring and the people above me were knocking boots. I could tell he had a short stroke by the 
frequency of the Ee-Ee-Ee-Ee. 
Last stop Malta. I love a town that has the train running right through the middle of it. Reminds me of an era when
you could ride your horse into town with a six gun on your hip. I know I'm a romantic.
at work                              at work
                                                                                                                                                    I told you to let that power unit warm up first!
I worked from June to October at the airport.
    at work 
      Don't you need paperwork to do that?
Getting my balls broken by the government's best.
In November I headed south to keep an eye on
my inheritance. In December I went to LA for a 
week to check out the comedy scene. I slept in
my van like a bum. I was walking up the street
by the Laugh Factory on Sunset, when I noticed
Richard Louis walking towards me. He crossed the
street to avoid me and walked down the other
sidewalk. I didn't think I looked that scary. 
aircraft dispatch
I was in bed by 9:30 PM New Years Eve. What a life I've got!

Remember that if you don't have a poorman's T-shirt, someone else will be driving that Firebird. Don't make 
it easy for them get a T-shirt now!                  
                                                                                     Thanks for your support.

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